Male-Female Conversations

Male-female Conversation As A Form of “cross-cultural communication” in Deborah Tannen’s “Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers” and “Sex, Lies, and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?”

 In contemporary society, men and women have a lot of difficulties communicating. Men can be really direct and dry, meanwhile women can go round and round about a simple topic and express every feeling toward it. Boys and girls are raised differently and in the long run, they stick to their habits of communication. Peer Schneider (2011) argues that the problem is that we live in an extremely sexist society- biased toward women. Women constantly blame men for their masculinity, punish them for thinking like men, and scorn them for failing to adopt the female style of communication. Tannen states in her essay “Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers” and “Sex, Lies, and Communication…” that male-female conversations are a form of “cross-cultural communication”. This term implies that there is no understanding between men and women in a conversation because of their cultural gender differences. Although Tannen’s critics argue that her theory of “cross-cultural communication” contains generalizations about men and women, her theory is valid because it provides specific examples of why men and women actually miscommunicate.

          Communication is based in men and women’s culture, as said before, boys and girls are raised differently, this being the reason for different communication styles and different expectative between them. As Tannen states in her essay: “From the time they’re born, they’re treated differently, talked to differently, and talk differently as a result” (241). Culture is an important part of a great conversation; it’s the main source of how people talk. Boys and girls grow with a chain of habits and patterns, or culture, that travel in contradictory perspectives building differences in the long run of how as adults they would communicate. These cultural differences include different expectations about the role of talk in relationships and how it fulfills that role (Tannen 241).

          Tannen’s “Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers” and “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” presents that male-female conversation is a form of “cross-cultural communication” and proposes that miscommunication between men and women is inherently gendered. The author’s theory is valid as it provides specific examples of why men and women actually miscommunicate. All the facts about the “cross-cultural communication” make Tannen’s theory credible because they’re from authentic situations in conversations between men and women in the actual world. These facts and examples are brought to men and women so they can learn that between them are cultural and gender differences that don’t let them have a fluent conversation. Tannen’s solution to the miscommunication between men and women is that if one of them recognizes or is aware of the differences in conversational styles, they should accept that there are differences in habits and assumptions. Men and women should be more conscious of the author’s solution when they are having a conversation so their relationships can survive.

Deborah Tannen's Official site